AD2000

Doors

2009-06-14T10:22:00.003+02:00

Helen Keller said: "When one door closes, another one opens" which is absolutely true. The problem is that we tend to watch the closed door forever and totally miss the open door (new opportunity) behind us.

This is also true physically; if there is pressure in a space and one door is closed, the pressure will cause the other door to open.
On the other hand; if you have 2 doors open at the same time, the draught will cause one of the doors to close.
Meaning; if you have too many options, some will automatically shut down because you can't pursue them all. Maybe the door that closed was one you wanted open, but if it is not for you to step through that specific doorway, it will not stay open.
We choose our paths on more than one level; our conscious mind with all its programmings and short-comings, and our super-conscious, liberated from programmings. When super-conscious steers us, we don't know what is going on and often we even feel that we are not choosing. It could steer us in a direction that we would never, ever have chosen from consciousness. And it always turns out alright - if we allow it.

Ambres is a genie from old Egypt. He is a very wise soul who visits our time with his teachings. Once he said: "You all walk backwards into the future, re-acting on everything that happens to you. Therefore there is no growth and no vitality."
Meaning: By re-acting on everything we are labelling every action with something that went before; our preconcieved notions. We go straight to the archive of our experiences and pull out the one that best fits the present situation, and by this we then judge it. What we need to learn is to act on every new impulse, allowing it to show us the way into the future. It might look like something we know, but appearances are decieving. Children act like this all the time, they are constantly in the moment, allowing themselves to be guided into the future by completely being in the experience. This is what we should be looking for.

Sisters, ladies, women

2009-05-31T20:52:00.003+02:00

My friends are ill, my beautiful, funny, strong and loving women. In a short time 3 of my friends have been diagnosed with illnesses in their female parts; the most female of womanhood. They are all sisters, mothers, lovers and daughters, they are important people. These women learn fear overnight. From one day to another without any warning they are staring death in the face...they have done nothing wrong and they are wondering why this is happening to them. Petty everyday worries become insignificant, that which was taken for granted becomes glorious luxury...everything changes.
The women are there, facing major surgery with no guarantees...my ladies...my sisters...my beautiful strong and helping friends. People so important to me that I hurt inside for them - and me, it is so difficult to stand by in helpless silence. But at the hospital today I realized that I can do something; I can love and hug and giggle and be frivolously ridiculous, for a moment I can bring childish merriment into the suffering and ease it a bit. I do not understand what these women go through - I have not been there. But I do know fear and stress and anger and the horrible sense of futility. I can change nothing and I can save nobody - but for a blissful little while I can bring amusement and love and hopefully a momentary relief from the horror of it all.

When I see my sisters smile my heart grows. Ladies; I love you so much and you are so brave. I am always with you...when you hear a silly giggle...that's me.

Britains got talent

2009-04-19T11:09:00.003+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Susan Boyle is plain, fat, badly dressed and 47 years old!!! Aaarghh, what a horror. Everybody laughs at her, they shake their heads - not with pity - with anger that this person would ever dare invade the space. The comments thrown at her are so nasty and rude it takes your breath away. And she stands there, does a little spin with her hips (which upsets everybody) and says cheekily that she wants to be a star. They hate her. Susan Boyle is totally vulnerable; alone on stage about to sing while all this negative energy and snickering is directed at her.
And then she sings - with the voice of an angel - strong and clear, unwavering in the face of adversity. Thus is she transformed - she becomes beautiful, strong, passionate, attractive - and everybody loves her.

Watching the clip had me breathless with shock and anger at the way Susan Boyle was recieved and spoken to by the judges, both before and after her performance. They actually say that they were stunned by her performance...because she was ugly and old they had expected her to make a fool of herself.

How did society and mankind get to this point? Who said you need to be beautiful, young or sexy to have talent? There are tons of untalented beautiful people out there performing and showing of their sorry shortcomings. Who wants to listen to a beautiful girl sounding horrid when you can hear such singing as that of Susan Boyle.

I am angry. I don't see the beauty in this happening at all...I see only shame. And I am so impressed by Susan Boyle, not only for her singing, but for her courage and strength.

Joy of my Heart

2009-03-31T10:00:00.003+02:00

Sometimes I am touched by the greatest love in the Universe; it washes over me like a wave, powerful and strong. This occurs at unexpected moments, at times when I am doing the most mundane, sometimes even boring, things.
Usually it is brought on by visions in my head of somebody loved, most often my children. One small vision pops up and it opens up a torrent of images; vivid and real. I am filled with such love and gratitude which makes me truly believe that I am one of the luckiest people in the world. These moments of all-encompassing breathless emotions are worth every second of fear, insecurity and pain. This is the ultimate reason for being.

Professional traffic

2009-03-28T16:30:00.004+01:00

Professional traffic is normally taxis, buses, lorries and delivery-vans. In Luxembourg professional traffic includes (in a very major way) tractors and any other kind of driven farm-equipment such as a lorry full of cows taken out to the fields. (Sometimes it might also be a bunch of cows being walked home for milking.)

The other day I was driving down one of the unsigned country-lanes that criss-crosses Luxembourg when I got stuck behind a tractor = professional traffic. These country-lanes are very narrow and barely paved, so to pass another vehicle entails going a bit off the road. Usually this is no problem for tractors. Some farmers are wonderful and facilitate your passing in a very expedient manner, others consider you to be an impostor on their turf, making sure that you stay behind them for the duration of their ride which, admittedly, is their right on a hardly-used country-lane used mainly by farmers.

The one I got stuck behind didn't even know I was there. His decrepit old tractor was held together (I am sure) with chewing-gum and string. It lacked lights and rear-view mirrors. The man in it was as old and decreptit as the tractor, half-hidden under a old stained feodora. Steadfastly he puttered on in 24km/hour downhill, 20km/hr on flat road. Going up the hill I was afraid he might start rolling backwards and dump his load of manure on me, that is how slow he was. After quite a while of this I started signalling that I wanted to pass by honking my horn. It resulted only in the realisation that the man was stone-deaf. So there I crawled in a speed almost slower than my first gear, km after km until he drove off onto a field to dump his load of manure. I passed him and he was so busy that he didn't even see me. He never knew I was there.

This amused me for days. I could only love this old farmer, so slow and decrepit in a land of speed, flashiness and busy appointments.

Signs?

2009-03-20T11:47:00.003+01:00

Yesterday was beautifully sunny and nice. The air was warm against my skin...oh, I love that! For the first time since last summer I felt this joyful urge to work in the garden; mainly clearing after last summer which is something I should do in the fall and never feel like at the time... sound familiar?

I took the spade and started digging, the handle broke. Oh well, with a smile I lightly threw the spade to the side and grabbed the pitchfork to continue the digging and...the handle broke.
Hmm, no more digging-tools...I will chop the rest of the wood, still in a very good spring-mood. I grabbed the axe and brought it down on a log, whereupon the handle broke.

Oh well, the signs are all really pointing in only one direction here: Ironing!!! So I did go in to iron, with my jolly spring-mood intact, and it worked without a hitch.

The Warrior, The Mountain and The Monk

2009-03-03T09:27:00.002+01:00

The warrior sat on a mound of stones atop the great mountain, his head in his hands and his chest still heaving with the exertion of the last stage of his climb.

His black hair, now flecked with grey, clung to his face just as his clothing stuck to his body from the combination of the perspiration that resulted from his recent efforts as well as the ever-present fog that had dogged his steps since he first began his ascent of the sacred mountain many days before.

Chain mail once as bright and shiny as a mirror was now caked in grime and dirt as well as patches of bright orange rust from the lack of the cleaning and oiling to which it was accustomed and his sword, whilst still serviceable showed signs that it had not been cared for for several days.

The warrior laughed inwardly as he thought about how his old swordmaster used to punish him for even the slightest speck of dust on his uniform and more severely still when his arms and armour were not properly cared for. He still recalled the long hours spent marching drill as punishment or, worse yet, cleaning out the latrines when his transgressions against the warriors code were deemed great.

If the swordmaster could see him now...

Thinking of the old man suddenly reminded the warrior of his quest and of the struggles and deprivations he'd endured and, suddenly as it had come, the faint smile that had creased face for the briefest instant was lost and replaced by the frown that had taken up residence a long time hence.

It hadn't always been this way, he reminded himself.

When he had set out on this quest those long years ago, he and his companions, warriors all, had been driven by an almost child-like excitement and sense of fun and adventure that seemed to give them boundless energy and focus. But that excitement had soon worn off.

Within a matter of weeks, three of his companions had been lost to rivers whose banks had swelled with the great flood and two more, fearful of the wrath of the water Gods, chose to return home, justifying their leaving by stating that it was better to live in a castle than die in the wilderness.

"Cowards" he said aloud to himself, still scornful and angry at the memory of their abandoning the quest so soon.

The warrior had remained steadfast and said to the others "We will continue with our quest for if we turn back then our friends have died for naught". His companions, in full agreement, rode on.

Months passed and three more companions were lost, this time to bandits and brigands who had lain in ambush to take by force that which they could not earn by honest labour. They had been routed by the warrior and his men yet still, the cost of victory had been a high one.

Two of his men said "We will go no further. We will return the bodies of the fallen to their loved ones back home and be thankful that our folly has allowed us to come so far and experience so much without harm to ourselves" and with that, they turned and left.

The warrior looked at his remaining men, now so few in number and said "We shall persevere, for to have come so far and risked so much and paid such a dear price, it makes no sense to abandon our quest and return home". His companions, in full agreement, rode on.

A year passed and at last they came upon a prosperous city where the streets were paved with gold and the people were dressed in cloth of the finest weave. Three more men the warrior lost to the quest when they decided to stay and build new lives for themselves in this paradise far from home and unlike any they had ever dreamed of.

"We will stay and raise families here" they said "for back home we were merely warriors at our lords pleasure, yet here we shall live like kings"

The warrior spoke then saying "True, as kings in riches and wealth ye shall be, yet knowing that you abandoned your true quest, I fear that you shall never know the true riches afforded only to those who finish what they start"

"We few shall continue, for we know that what lies before us is of greater value than all we have seen thus far combined" and saying so, the warrior and his remaining companions rode on.

A decade passed and the warrior now found himself utterly alone. His last companions had long since abandoned their quest and returned home leaving him to face the remainder of the journey and the hardship it entailed in silent misery.

Now, sitting atop this fog enshrouded mountain peak in total solitude, cold, wet, hungry and broken in both body and spirit the warrior considered his long quest and asked himself "Was it all worth it?"

And inside his own head the answer came, loud and clear.

"NO!"

The silent response echoed off the walls of his own mind until suddenly and completely unbidden the warrior found tears streaming from eyes swollen with moisture, followed by a raising of his broad shoulders into what he would eventually come to recognise as a sob, something he had not done since since he was a young child at his mothers knee.

"What a fool I have been" he declared to himself, then louder, shouting at the mountain that had finally broken his spirit and his heart. "WHAT A DAMNED FOOL I'VE BEEN!"

As he heard his curses echo through the valley below he became aware of a movement and then the briefest flash of orange presented itself a short distance away and beneath him on the stone strewn track, yet to this battle hardened warrior who had survived numerous violent encounters since leaving home, it was enough to bring every fibre of his being to full alertness.

As he reached for the sword at his belt and old yet kindly voice rang out of the fog. "Stay your hand my son, for we have come not to fight but to rejoice at your arrival for it has been long in coming"

Taken aback by the curious comment the warrior froze, his hand scant inches from the weapon, and peered into the thick impenetrable fog for a hint as to where the speaker may be. Another flash of orange, a blur of movement and mere seconds later there stood before him a group of orange clad monks with smiles that spread from ear to ear and a countenance that could only be described as joyful.

At the fore stood a monk, far older than the others with brown, weather beaten and parchment-thin skin that was wrinkled beyond belief yet sporting a smile that was bigger and warmer than any that the warrior could remember having seen in his entire life. Striding purposefully up to the warrior who was a full two heads taller than he, the old man took him in an embrace of genuine joy and care and said in a voice warm yet powerful and strong at the same time "Welcome to the sacred mountain, my son. We have been expecting you"

The warrior said nothing, yet, suddenly self conscious of the tears still running down his cheeks, raised a hand to wipe them away in a manner that, he hoped, would serve to disguise his moment of weakness.

Taking a small step backward yet remaining in physical contact with the tall warrior, the old man placed his hand on the bigger man's shoulder and stared into his eyes with a gaze that was at once gentler and yet more powerful than anything he had ever experienced before and immediately the warrior was aware that he stood in the presence of one who had peered into the soul of the world and had found enlightenment and peace as a result.

"Today is a joyous day, my son, and yet you stand here with tears of grief and sadness running down your face and shouting words of anger at the world. Your bitterness, anger and resentment shows clear to all who have eyes to see, yet now, after all these years, you stand at the threshold of your quest's completion.

Why does your heart ache so?"

The warrior closed his eyes, inhaled deeply then let out a sigh so deep and wearisome that even the smiles of the old man and his younger companions seemed to falter a little.

At last he spoke and, as he did so, he told of his journey and that of his companions, of the struggles they had faced, of the losses they had endured and of the pain, suffering, humiliation and feelings of despair that, finally and alone, only he was left to endure.

"And during all this" he said "I kept myself true to my quest because I believed that the soul of the world would reveal itself and bestow upon me its blessed bounty of peace, happiness and wisdom."

"I was a fool" he said "for now, here atop this highest of all mountains I see that no such prize exists and that this peak is nothing more than granite, flint and cold stone. I have wasted my life in search of a treasure that does not exist and seen good friends die as a result of my folly" The last he said quietly, almost a whisper as though he were too ashamed to say the words aloud.

The old man laughed a merry laugh and, with smiling eyes twinkling with good humor said to the warrior "My son, you have travelled long, you have travelled far and you have experienced much since you have left your home. Some of it you have called good, some you have called bad and much of it far more difficult and testing than you ever imagined it would be when you set out with your youthful excitement so many years ago.

You have learned much, my son, but though your eyes have gazed upon much that few men will ever see, you have yet to recognise the power, purpose or potential of any of it.

In focusing only on reaching this holy place you have missed many of the wonders and miracles that the soul of the world was trying to show you, choosing instead to fill your heart with bitterness and regret for what life has delivered unto you"

"Ha!" said the warrior contemptuously "You seem a kindly and good intentioned old man but you are wrong!"

"Long have I been on this path and much have I seen, it's true, but hardly any would qualify as wonders and miracles and much, as I have already told you, would be better described as disaster and tragedy" Then quietly, almost to himself he added "I see no miracle in watching good friends die or give up in despair"

"My son," said the old man, smiling once again "you see no miracles because you have not truly looked for them and yet, still, the miracles were present all along"

"Was it not a miracle that the soul of the world saw fit to bless you with friends who believed in you and trusted you to share in your adventure, even if only for a short time?"

"Was it not a miracle that you were strong enough and skilled enough to swim the swollen rivers that carried the spirit of your brothers home to the kingdom of the mothers and fathers and a miracle again that, in doing so, you learned never to repeat their mistakes when faced with nature's awesome power several times throughout your quest?"

"The warrior looked up, shocked "How..."

Holding up a wrinkled hand for silence, the old monk continued "Were you not in the presence of a miracle when your strength and skill with a blade saved the lives of your companions and yourself during more battles than you can remember and yet another still that you were present at the passing of those you loved, easing them in their passage to the next world?"

"Could you not sense the soul of the world at work when your closest friends, those who you thought had abandoned you, were blessed with the sure and certain knowledge that their own quests were over and that, at last, they could rest and enjoy life's plentiful bounty?"

"And, if not a miracle, how can you describe how your last remaining companions finally discovered that their own quests would be complete only once they arrived safely back home and in the arms of the families that love them?"

"But... this mountain" stammered the warrior, now less sure of himself and his experiences as he had been mere moments before "It is supposed to be a place of miracle and wonder yet I see none. Where are the miracles here, old man? For I see only rock and shale and this blasted fog, yet nothing to explain why I should have been called to walk this long, lonely path for these long years and why I needed to endure so much to get here "

The old man smiled an indulgent smile, placed his hand back upon the warrior's shoulder and said patiently, as if talking to a child "The miracles you have sought have been there for you to see from the very moment you stepped foot onto the mountain yet you were so caught up in your woes that you could not recognise them to register their presence"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" protested the warrior "I passed no wonders. I saw nothing special!"

"You never saw the field of dreams?" asked the old man "The yellow gold flowers there are beautiful, and you could have rested there a while and spoken to your lost companions and learned that they were happy and safe with the mothers and father but, you saw it not because your head was hung with grief and your mind clouded with dark thoughts over your loss"

The old man waved a hand and the fog shimmered then disappeared revealing a bright golden field at the foot of the mountain far below, and right next to the very path that the warrior had trodden.

His eyes widened and he went as if about to speak, but the old man continued "You never saw the pool of healing? Its warm, crystal clear waters could have served to rejuvenate you in both body and mind yet your eyes were cast to the floor and you were cursing the very stones under your feet for an imagined conspiracy to trip you and so you walked right on by and never noticed a thing"

Once again, he waved his hand and once again the fog parted parted to reveal a turquoise pool of stunning beauty situated halfway up the mountain and within a mere arm's length from the path he had climbed.

"And here, atop this great peak at the roof of the world, did you not see the mirror of wisdom? Had you but looked you would have found a way to learn secrets known only to the soul of the world and found a way to ever lasting peace. Yet instead, you placed your attentions in the past and chose to pick at the scabs of wounds that should have long since healed and, in doing so, missed it entirely."

One last time the old man waved his hand and the dense fog that shrouded the mountain top faded, slowly at first and then faster until finally it was gone altogether.

The warrior looked around the mountaintop on what was now a beautiful, sunny and warm summers day and saw, to his amazement, that not 3 yards from where he stood was a simple yet elegant mirror that stood twice as tall as and shwing a reflection of the rugged peak itself.

"How could I have missed so much?" said the now bemused warrior as he took in the majestic views from his high vantage point.

The old man smiled "It is the nature of men" he said "to see every obstacle they encounter as something set to rob them of what they seek when, in reality, each obstacle is nothing more than a a chance to decide upon the true value of what you are seeking. If worth much you will breach the obstacle, if little, why then, you will turn back.

It is not good. It is not bad. It just is."

The warrior felt truth in the old man's words and suddenly, as if a giant hand had reached into the very core of his being, a tremendous weight was lifted from his heart.

The old man continued "It is the nature of men to see each struggle that they engage in as a battle that someone else must lose in order that they may win when, in truth, the struggle is nothing more than conditioning to strengthen us for what we must yet endure.

As you have had to exercise your arm and shoulders every day in order to wield your great sword with strength and skill in combat, so too have you been given the opportunity to gain the strength of body, mind and spirit required to reach this sacred place"

The warrior smiled as he thought of all the struggles that had been visited upon him and yet how much stronger he was now than he had been at the start of this great quest. He realised that whilst he had chosen to focus on his suffering for so long, that joy had never been very far from him and he he had only to have bothered to look to have seen it with his own eyes.

"I've been a fool" he said with a smile and, as he did so, he felt that great hand reach inside once more and he physically staggered as the burden of sadness that he had carried for so long was finally lifted from him.

Realising what the warrior was going through and experiencing, the old man smiled and continued with his lesson "It is the nature of men to experience fear upon thinking of what may or may not become in the future and to experience resentment when that future does not turn out as planned or hoped for. Yet with each fear comes the opportunity to demonstrate faith and belief in what may yet come to be and with each resentment the opportunity to demonstrate gratitude for the gifts already bestowed.

This is the way of love" said the old man, still smiling.

"Love" repeated the warrior and, as he did so, he recognised yet more truth coming from the old man. "No, not from" he corrected himself "through" for it was clear now that the soul of the world was speaking with him now through the spirit and body of the old man before him.

Suddenly thankful of the opportunity to experience and overcome each and every fear that had visited upon him since leaving home, the warrior became aware of its opposite; a deep and powerful love of life and a thankfulness that threatened to overwhelm him completely with tears of the purest joy.

And at last, as the final burden of fear left him, the warrior, after years of journeying, fighting, struggling and heartache found his miracle...

...and realised, just as the old man had said, it had been with him all the time had he but looked for it.

He turned to the old man with fresh tears rolling down his cheeks and a smile of the greatest joy and saw that the old man was now bowing from the waist with his hands pressed together before his face.

"Rak Due Kwam Jing Jai" said the abbot of the temple of the soul of the world to the warrior in a reverent tone that intimated something of significance was being said.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand" replied the warrior.

"It is the name of the miracle that you have sought for so long and that which you have just experienced" said the old man.

"It means 'truth, joy and love' and with it you now possess the answer to every question you could ever ask and the solution to every problem you could ever face"

The warrior turned to face the great mirror that stood behind him and peered at a reflection years younger than the one he had seen that morning in the reflection of the stream as he bathed. Trying his mouth around the words the abbot had uttered just moments before, the warrior said aloud "Rak Due Kwam Jing Jai" and as he did so he finally understood... everything!

At that moment the man, now no longer a warrior, for he had no need to be, did something that he hadn't done for more than ten long years.

He laughed.

A deep, hearty, joyous laugh full of love and gratitude.

And the soul of the world smiled.

The Magic of Spring

2009-02-25T18:15:00.003+01:00

I went into the forest today. The sun was shining from a clear blue sky, and there was a scent of spring in the air. As I was walking I heard the sound of wild geese approaching, so I stopped and looked into the sky. And there they were, thousands upon thousands of wild geese. They just kept coming. Over my head every new group flew a circle before continuing on their way. Every now and then I saw the sun glisten of their bodies. The beauty and power of the drama was intense and tears streamed down my cheeks. I felt infinite hope and peace and a whole new trust for my future.

In the collective cries of the many thousands of wild geese, I could hear the one voice of infinity. Calm and strong, the words barely decipherable. I think I will know them this night in my dreams.

Immortality vs pain

2009-02-23T20:02:00.006+01:00

People always speak of pain and death, but never of immortality

Why?

Is pain and death easier to believe/accept in society than immortality?

Who said you were going to own your body forever...and who said you were not forever?

Everything is not pain, there is much pleasure. But apparently pain is more attractive to peoples beliefsystems.

I believe in butterflies, eternity and Tinkerbell. Never-never-land is there forever and laughter never goes out of style.
Love is a human right and pain just something to remind us of all that we tend to forget in our valiant struggle for glory. Tears are there to wash out our souls and leave them sparkling and, if we are very careful, the rainbow will take us to "the other side" - wherever that is.

Eternity

2009-02-17T20:37:00.003+01:00

Sometimes I can feel the memories of my past. I can actually smell, taste and feel them inside. And I wonder what happened to some of all the dreams?
Sitting in an attic, emancipated and literary, the floor littered with books by Kafka, Dostojevski, Anaïs Nin, Hemingway...All of us young and dressed in black, drinking wine and smoking exotic cigarettes in the cold, huddled around a heater...The evening spent at the intellectual hang-out of the time, the night given over to heated discussions and love-making. A sort of romancing of a time already past. Youthful excuberance solving the political problems of the day....vibrant...and naïve.

Basically the feeling of constant beginnings and never any endings. Everything NOW, NOW, NOW!!! Beauty, passion, dreams, belief. And most of all; the possibilities past any boundaries. I am still that girl. No longer so naïve, the beginnings have turned to the middle part...the part before the end. But there is no difference in my excuberance; my tears burn as hot as then, my passions as strong. And my belief in possibilities past any boundaries have remained as strong and stronger through all the disapointments and triumphs of life. My body might age, but my soul has hardly drawn its first breaths.

Poverty

2009-02-05T10:35:00.002+01:00

Poverty has a lot of different levels depending on what country you live in and your own standard of living. Everybody always feel they need more. In these shaky economic times I hear a lot of recession-panic in peoples talk. But when I look around me, I see enormous wealth. Flashy cars, huge houses, overflowing shopping-carts, people carrying pretty shopping-bags with expensive labels on them. These are apparently the people who are hit the worst by recession - I can't see it. For other people; the ones who shop in the cheap places, do their hair at home, live in small houses, drive little used cars, they are not touched by the recession except for two things: rent and employment. As long as that is stable, nothing really changes, you need money to feel recession.
I went to a conference where it was said; (quote) "We will have to lower our standard of living and accept that our grown children might need to move back home" (end of quote)
The lowered standard of living is way higher than any normal standard.
For my friend the cleaning lady, nothing changed. She is "cheap" labour, so people keep her on. To her it is necessary that her 2 adult children live at home, that is how they manage to pay their bills.

Okay, I am pushing buttons here. Personally I don't really have an opinion about what people choose to do. My opinions consider larger questions, such as the philosophy of things.

Poverty/affluence vs. respect.
Interesting topic. The biggest fear of most people is poverty, loosing it all. Poverty is difficult, poverty is shameful.
The richer a person seems/looks, the more respect he gets....no denying that. The poorer a person seems/looks, the less he is respected. This never fails to astonish me; Since being poor is so difficult that everybody fears it, there should be great respect for the people who handle it, even if they have no choice.
Cleverness has nothing to do with education, nor does survival. Being able to feed a large family on almost no money is to be respected. To work a shit-job that wears you down mentally and physically day after day is to be respected. To dance and sing when you are hungry and sick is to be respected. To walk on sore feet for miles because it is necessary is to be respected.

I am not rich, I am not even affluent - considering the society I live in. But I am lucky and I am comfortable. I am not always safe, but I am clever and strong. I can always make it because I am not afraid to work hard. Sometimes, when I ride the train, (from the train you always see the worst adresses/places of living.) I look at the housing of the poor people, those who have nothing, and I am so greatful for what I have. I imagine myself and my 4 children in a 1 or 2 room appartment. I look at the yard where my children would be forced to play, and think that from this, the worst place, I would be evicted if I could not pay my rent, if I lost my job. That this, the worst place, could be considered heaven.
This must be the worst situation of all.
I give thanks for my abundance, even if it is small. I give thanks for the food I eat, the roof over my head, the song in my heart and the health of my children. Every day I stop and realize my gratitude. And every day I watch the "invisible" people with great respect.

MARIA

2009-01-26T13:59:00.003+01:00

The last days I have met many different women, all of them fascinated me with their stories. It seems to me that women can bear so much of everything and see it as natural. Today I want to tell you about Maria:
She is an old lady that I massage sometimes; she is 88 years old, she was born the same year that females were given the right to vote in Sweden. Old pictures show a drop-dead-gorgeous woman, the woman I touch and listen to looks like any old woman - there is only a slight hint of her youthful beauty. What is striking are her eyes; they carry all the wisdom, joy and pain of a lifetime. She has had a hard life, this woman. She has known the biggest and truest love, given birth only to lose her child, danced and made love through the night, nursed her ailing husband. When she was young, she broke her hips but would not give up wearing pretty high-heeled shoes - no matter how much pain she sometimes experienced. She is animated when she speaks, her eyes glow, her cheeks turn pink. She is excited about the liberty women have today, and worried about how they sometimes use it.
Womens right is the result of generations' struggle for existence, acceptance and freedom. The freedom women experience today is something women once died for. (Not much different from the war against apartheid.) We must never forget what went before that what we take for granted. All the little old wrinkled ladies around us helped pave the road for us, and they should all be honoured and respected.

Wikipedia says:

Voting rights for women were introduced into international law in 1948 when the UN adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. As stated in Article 21 “(1)Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. (3)The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.”

Women’s suffrage is also explicitly stated as a right under the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women, adopted by the United Nations in 1979.

Agelessness

2009-01-20T18:01:00.004+01:00

The pressure is on! Tuck your tummy, sagging breasts? - fill 'em up. Crows feet, sagging jowls...? - tighten, stretch, vanish. Plump up, play down. Stay 20 forever and ever and ever...It is easy, available, done and expected. How can you NOT? I suppose my aging, 4-times-mom, saggy and wrinkled self draws more stares of concern than if it was "done-over"...hahaha
BUT, I can grow old, looking eternally (at least partly) young, suffering through pain and debilitation because of bad habits or laziness.

NOT ME! I am growing old with all what it entails, I fight to not succumb to the pipe-dream and concentrate on keeping what I have in fabulous working order. When I am truly old, I shall be the fastest rocking mama on this planet, shaking my wrinkled booty in time with the beat.

Check this out:

Nourishment

2009-01-08T15:06:00.011+01:00

We need to take a look at how and what we are eating. So many people who come to me - slightly desperate, are often malnourished. Isn't it amazing how many people are overweight and obese, have problems with; concentration, sleep, hormones, digestion, emotions...the list goes on forever. I have been watching this development for 20 years. It took me some time to realize that much of it is connected to foods and eating-habits. "We are what we eat" doesn't mean that we become pigs for eating pork, it is more about health and balance. Our bodies are extremely well-developed constructions, able to adapt to almost anything. (I believe the only other species that do this are rats and cockroaches...what can I say...)
Anyway, our bodies have certain needs, and they are quite simple; oxygene, water and nourishment...these three govern everything. Now this is all polluted, and we thrive anyways. Our bodies find ways to handle the toxins that come into our systems - to a certain point. When the amount of toxins become to large, the body slowly starts breaking down. And with body is included the brain = emotions, memory, hormones, concentration, learning...the list is vast. So much of the food people eat today is full of chemicals that are bad or outright dangerous. Much foods have no nutritious value at all. Many people don't even know how to cook a simple meal.
Check out this video on additives in foodstuffs and tell me if you are prepared to feed this to yourself and your children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPvIZxJHyeY

Charitability

2009-01-05T10:29:00.006+01:00

Why is generosity so widely spoken of around Christmas and then forgotten? People tend to be more generous with their charitability around Christmas. Maybe they have a bad conscience about all the money spent on (honestly!) ridiculous things? Expensive ridiculous things, I might add. So a bit of the green goes to somebody needy; a person on the street, a Santa collecting for Ethiopia. I think it is usually a spur-on-the-moment thing during shopping. x100Euros in the shoppingmall, some coins for Burundi.

"Generosity elevates us all"

Yes, such an easy way to feel good about yourself. But true generosity doesn't happen only around Christmas, it is there all year around. And it is not always about giving some of your hard-earned cash. Sometimes it is a deed or a thought or time. Next time that old person starts talking to you while you are waiting, don't walk away - stop and listen. That is charity. You might have made his/hers lonely day a little bit brighter. Next time your friend calls you in sadness, stop and listen. Give yourself and everybody else a little bit of time. Take time to experience. Stop and see the smile of gratitude on the lady's face when you helped her with her bag. (Actually, stop and help her with the bag) Stop and see the joy in an old man's face because you gave him a smile. Stop and watch the world around you, show your children how to be charitable by being it yourself. Charitability and kindness is infectious, it carries much further than one simple act, and each simple act creates a never-ending flow of simple acts.

Time

2009-01-03T10:14:00.003+01:00

Time must be the trickiest player of all. It has a life and a will of its own. We measure it, control it, decide over it and plan it...but it doesn't function that way, does it?
When we are waiting or unhappy or in pain time slows down to a barely noticable crawl. Even if we try to fill the time with things to do, it doesn't go any faster, but we get more done in this time than would seem normally possible.
When we are in a hurry, stressed, excited or having fun...time flies. Before we know it the time is up and we hardly got started.
I have spent 1 and a half day in a time-crawl because I was sad and angry. At one point I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to let it go since I could do nothing about it. It was anyway out of my control. The second I made the decision, time started going back to normal (not fast, just normal) and I got through the long horrific day without too much pain.
I don't know if I am as good at slowing down time. When I enjoy something/someone I am so constantly and fully in the moment, so time somehow ceases to matter.

So what does this mean? Time is the one thing we are really agreed on that it is controlled, and we find that it is not. So don't ever think that there is such a thing as control. Go with the flow, loosen up and allow yourself to be all there. Remember....time flies...

Unconditional love

2009-01-01T06:04:00.011+01:00

I love very strongly. I don't expect much in return, but I do expect respect. That is not as simple as it seems. I know a man who spoke to me of unconditional love. For me it is about accepting another person as they are. Of sharing love, confidences and truths or beliefs, also sad or hard times. To my friend unconditional love means freedom to do, think and act as one pleases and as long as one does not aim to hurt, there is no responsibility for anyone but the self. If someone else gets hurt along the way - tough shit, their problem.
I love very much. Each person, just like myself, carries something screwy in their character. I can see it and I respect it. It might not be pleasing to me, but it is part of the person whom I love. It would be so easy if you could love only the "right" person. I always try to understand no matter how hard it seems sometimes; I have been screamed at, abused and hurt, still I stay - not because I am a fool or a looser, but because I am a winner, the one who has the guts to transgress. Only a fool will not accept love.
Yes, it is hurtful to be on the receiving end, but it may also be a lesson in character. If you speak anything that does not fit the picture, you are cast out and if you love deeply this might be very painful. But then again, if you are not allowed to voice your worries or fears....are you then really loved? If you are gagged by fear of loss, do you feel loved? The one who says you matter should be able to hold you in their arms for a while until whatever unrest has passed. Parent to child, lover to lover, friend to friend. And if this is not so, at the end of the day, it might be better to face the pain than allow yourself being controlled by another being. Allow the healing tears to fall and know that you are worth more...and that at one point this will come.

The holy trinity

2008-12-30T08:27:00.004+01:00

This is the father, the son and the holy ghost, right? Ghost??? I can get the father bit; God. The son is a little bit more obscure...but the ghost? Is that what women were called at the time? Honestly, why would God go to all the trouble when it could be simplified; father, mother and the son - obvious! Or God, Godess and the little cherub is fine too.

Immaculate conception has been discussed and researched for years. Apparently it is possible for it to happen. No matter how far-fetched, it is still a female thing. So the father could not immaculately conceive the son. No matter the amount of holy ghost that went into it, unless the holy ghost was the conceiver - in which case it is a woman.
Now the only truly famous woman through the history of christianity is Maria Magdalene - Jesus' girlfriend, maybe she even was his wife, maybe she had his child? Now we call her holy because she hung out with "The Man". But basically she was branded as a harlot. Jesus was shagging her, she was a harlot and everybody knows this is a sin - Her sin, not his. He may shag, she may NOT! So of course she became the saint for every lost, scared and lonely woman through the ages...who else is there really for a girl to pray to?

Numerology

2008-12-29T10:05:00.004+01:00

Another year coming up. This is a good thing. I have checked out numerology which is quite interesting. I would not stake my life on it, but connected with a bit of everything it paints an interesting picture. Simplified, to fit Anna's day-to-day philosofical musings, it looks like this:

Numerology-wise this year, 2008, is the number 1 (2+0+0+8=10=1+0=1). Number 1 is the first; starting up, new beginnings, input, the first movement. This fits so well for me it's amazing. This is the first year I feel truly settled in my new life, the year I am taking the first steps towards creating my existence, not just surviving.
Last year, 2007 makes the number 9. This number symbolizes ends, death, wrapping up and also wisdom. The end before the beginning. Again, it fits so well.
Next year, 2009 makes 11. so it can go to 2 (1+1) or stay 11 since 11 is a master number that does not change. (Together with 22 - my birthday) So 2009 will be a great year for me, first steps taken to creation, double master numbers. Imagine my birthday 2009 wohoo!

Strawberry margaritas

2008-12-28T22:26:00.003+01:00

I hit the bars last night with a friend. There is this area of wall-to-wall-bars and it's great. We started out at a pub for dinner and a pitcher of strawberry margaritas - I love! Well fed we then did the whole tour. We started at one end and worked our way through all the bars. Him being a gentleman and keeping check of my jacket, me getting progressively happier, higher and wilder until I was dancing with everybody everywhere, having a great time. YOOOHOOO PARTYYY!
I don't go out very often, and when I go out this is exactly how I want it to be. Today has been a quiet day with good food, lots of rest and my daughters great company.

Wear your hat with pride!

2008-12-26T19:35:00.006+01:00

I saw an old movie about a small village. This one man in the village had many different duties: postman, trader, driver... Every one of his duties had its own hat. The man changed his hats to define the duty he was executing. So as a trader he would recieve the mail (wearing the traders hat) and then he changed the hat for the postman hat to deliver the mail.

I find this interesting and true; don't we all wear our different hats depending on the occasion? I know that I do, and not only that; I enjoy my different hats. They are a game to be played. After all, is not life, society, just another scene on which we deliver our lines and paint our make-believe lives? When we are children we do it all the time, what makes us think that we ever stop just because we are adults? Ha!

For every new situation in life, we create or imitate another role. Sometimes they function, other times not. But nothing is really original. So let's all just go for our different hats and have some fun on the stage of life!

Christmas

2008-12-24T00:06:00.003+01:00

Next time I wake up it will be christmas, well it has actually been christmas for the last 7 minutes. I don't feel it. All around me people are having expectations for christmas. I am alone. My house is quiet, even the animals are sleeping, and the fire is warm...it's just very empty. This is not the first time I spend christmas alone. Last time I spent it in a club surrounded by scantily clad, coked out santasess'. That was fun. Different and absurd but fun. I came home at 5 o'clock in the morning.

This christmas is not fun. I am not going to a club, my phone is not ringing...it could be any day of the year for all I am noticing. It is only because I know that today I should be with loved ones that makes it such a sad day for me. This year I didn't want to be alone. So I turn it into any day of the year and thats that. Me and millions of others around the world can't be wrong...or can we?

Restless for freedom

2008-12-22T13:42:00.004+01:00

I am restless. There is a need for movement in me that is un-fulfilled. I want to go somewhere uncluttered; the mountains or vast forests. I would like to ride for days. The wild girl in me is growing increasingly restless in this tame life of society.
Now I am alone for a week and that increases my restlessness. I want movement and unending skies. I want to run and fly in the wilderness. I miss my forest.

Chaos theory

2008-12-21T17:51:00.002+01:00

"It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world."

Funny work-out perspective

2008-12-20T22:39:00.004+01:00

I found this funny story today, have to share it since it is hysterical. Anybody who ever worked out will have a good laugh:

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess. Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit- ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!
TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It’s a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.
FRIDAY: I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY: ; Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY: I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun – like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over , he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

2008-12-20T20:23:00.001+01:00

Here is the next informative video about unhealthy eating. Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IGtDPG4UfI

to be continued...

Health

2008-12-20T14:35:00.003+01:00

Check out this video and think seriously about what consequences this will have for future generations:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRSGUZrOU_w

to be continued...

Technology

2008-12-18T12:23:00.002+01:00

When it functions I love it! Computers are wonderful. But when something goes wrong, oh my, there is nothing as irritating and frustrating. I have spent an entire morning trying to download a anti-virus program and it is just not functioning. I even paid for it! I have chatted with support - 3 times and it still doesn't function. Now nobody is talking to me...suppose they all went for lunch - in the middle of a support-chat?

AAAARRGHHHH!!!

Essential oils

2008-12-13T22:26:00.002+01:00

I have missed my oils, or rather the passion for them, for some time. All my plans for aromatherapy and how I wanted to work came to nil here in Lux because of different laws. That combined with chaos just put the passion on hold somehow. Now my passion is rekindled. I picked up some oils whilst in England and spent some time with one of my "oldies" in the field - it is like a new start. (By the way..."oldies" applies to anybody who was in this business when I started, 20 years ago.)
So I am off on the next chapter of my aromatherapy journey, curious to see where my oils will take me this time.

Angels

2008-12-12T18:16:00.002+01:00

I met an Angel today. People have laughed at my Angels so now I will write every time I meet an Angel, just to show you that they are real.
I had parked my car in a parking house and when I went to get it the machine did not accept my ticket. Since this is Luxembourg there is ALWAYS somebody around to help you. So I knocked on the door to the guardians hut. He was clearly irritated and waved me away, pointing to the machine. I told him the machine didn't want to eat my ticket, nor be friendly with me and I really did need to get my car. The guy got really upset and told me to go to the machine.
Again I told him about the unfriendliness of the machine, and how it was upsetting me not to be able to pay my ticket and get my car. Maybe he would be better friends with the machine....seeing as they were - after all - co-workers.
The guy stomped out, red in the face, eyes bulging. He stood really close to me, breathing deeply (not towering exactly since I was wearing heels and he was quite small, but still) and suddenly he smiled and said:
Well, it is my call and I can do exactly as I feel like. And today I feel like......letting you get your car for free. Whereupon he escorted me to my car, kissed my hand and left.

Astonished and humbly grateful

2008-12-10T18:38:00.005+01:00

I had a meeting with somebody this week. A friend / teacher / business associate / advisor. He is a lot of different things to me and I have a deep respect for him as a person and a professional. We have not seen each-other for many years and I have, during the last 5 years, lived in a state of upheaval, change and chaos.
During these years I lost track of myself, where I was going and what my capabilities are. Chaos requires constant change and fast thinking...it is like a kind of war-time, so into this chaos-zone I stepped and managed to handle it without too much trouble. Except that I lost track of my peace-time zone.
Meeting this man brought me back to myself. He called me smart, brave, pioneer and professional. He helped me to remember where and who I was before chaos set in. I now have a clear view of what I want to accomplish, how to do it and why. It is like finally having a structure that fits. He made me feel good about myself and he showed me a picture of myself that I can very much like and honor. I am astonished because I had so lost track of myself and I am humbly grateful for the greatness this man showed me that I have.

Lifestyle

2008-12-03T12:31:00.005+01:00

Lifestyle as in food and movement!
Stopped smoking almost a year ago (after 35 years!!!). One day I knew that was the day...and it was. I payed attention to my eating since I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO GAIN WEIGHT. Did it work? No. I gained and gained. Nothing I did seemed to be able to reverse the "enlargening" movement. It was horrible. My mantra that kept me together was: "I am not smoking..." over and over again. Finally I stopped gaining at +6kg.
On top of that I had constant muscular aches, very low energy-levels and my digestive system broke down completely. I had an analysis done that showed very high levels of heavy metals, especially quicksilver (from cigarettes) in my system. Detoxing from smoking was making me sick and I was in bad shape.

At this point I started checking out nutrition and excersice - all kinds. Since I don't have the time or the inclination to go to a gym, I had to find something I could do at home. I got together quite some good programs that shaped me up using only bodyweight. I did detox with herbs and aloe vera. I used an elimination (detox) diet and I tried every known exercise form. I am slowly growing smaller, but I have realized that my body needs time to heal, and I will not get back to normal until my body is good and ready...otherwise I would be the fittest and best-toned woman around by now. My energy-levels are up, the aches and pains are gone and my digestive system is slowly building up to normal.
What I have found is:
Nutrition; just keep everything in balance. It is good to start a elimination-diet to become aware of how your body reacts to different food-stuffs. And to learn to eat well.
Exercise; you can have nice every-day exersice programs that you do at home every or every second day. They need not be very long or complicated.

I have searched the net, talked to nutritionists and trainers, tried different programs. I don't believe in diets; I believe in healthy eating. I believe in exercise, but I don't believe it needs to be heavy-duty or time-consuming. I am basically a lazy person who wants to look good. I have found easy ways of doing this. I train every day and I don't feel that I am giving up anything.
Here are some of my sites that I found:

Elimination diet:
www.daxmoy-pts.co.uk/index.asp
check under flap for "free stuff" and elimination diet.

The best exercize for women, tones your body, helps with posture, minor back-problems and energy. Fits every age and person. This is my basic work-out:
www.t-tapp.com/home/

Good trainingtips and advice from a friend of mine:
www.getfit.lu

Free gifts of trainingprograms, nutrition, health etc, starting the 10 of december:
www.12daysoffitness.com/

Enjoy feeling healthy, strong, energetic and beautiful. Be the best you can!

Of no consequence at all

2008-11-28T11:07:00.003+01:00

Sometimes I think that I should write really intelligent posts about politics, economy and such, but I find it so boring. Besides which I would - in my ignorance - make a total fool of myself.
Or I could write deep thoughts on poetry and film...I could do that, but again....boring. So many clever people out there writing clever things. So I stick to my observations of the world (could be anything) and thoughts about that.

Attitude & Beliefs

2008-11-26T17:27:00.011+01:00

I was approached by a lady at a networking event. She was very interested in what I do (stress-management) and we made contact. Some time later she invited me for lunch with her associate (owner of the company) to discuss and see if we might find some way of working together as they are coaches.
It was all very nice and friendly but after talking a while it became obvious that I don't have a corporate background which they do. At this point the "talk" was already over. To the owner- lady only corporate exists and the minute she realized that I have never been on any board of anything corporate, she completely lost interest and tuned me out. After that we chit-chatted about different things until the lunch was over.
Finally she said something along the line of: "Well, I suppose the best way for you to get any client is by having them on your massage-table". It was said very nicely indeed....but with an unmistakably cutting edge. Very rude. I left feeling like an idiot. I wanted to go back and tell them they had me all wrong, but of course I didn't. I am a very proud person.

A couple of months later, I was again at a networking event. The same lady that approached me before came in through the door. She looked embarrassed when she saw me, nodding her hello and quickly looking away. This, more than anything else, told me that to her I had been a mistake. I obviously did not fit in the scheme and I got the feeling that she had been told off by lady-boss. She had brought a companion (new girl on the team) and spent the rest of the evening avoiding me, which left her stranded with the new girl, since most everybody was hanging about discussing with me about the topic of the evening.

After mulling this over, I spoke to some corporate friends of mine and told them the story without going into detail or names. They were all horrified by it, and told me that professional is professional and nothing changes that. Who you are or where you come from is uninteresting. What is interesting is: Can you deliver? Do you have an accessible personality?
Well, I can deliver and I do have an accessible personality. I am friends with the people these ladies want for clients.

The whole incident reminded me of school. The pretty girls club and the checking out if you would fit. Well, I didn't fit then, and I don't fit now. I go my own way, I have my attitude and I get along fine with everybody everywhere. And never would I want to change this. I believe I rock!

Monday Morning Mood

2008-11-24T21:01:00.005+01:00

This morning I woke up feeling low, un-energetic and bored. The skies were grey, old snow was slowly melting, turning into grey-brown slush. Oh to stay in bed and forget all about today.
Depressed, low, bored...
Too easy to get stuck there; beginning to feel sorry for myself, too much empty time to fill, lots to do and no inclination to do it. Boohoohoo.
So I got up and decided to give this new day a chance; Exercise...that is a good pick-me-up. Music makes the heart expand and puts a smile on my face. Colourful eyeshadow...why not? Pretty clothes, mood way up there and 2 espressos later I booted my computer:
Good News!!! Plenty good news; yes to my tender, yes to my powerlunch, yes to my day of massage, yes to interesting meetings...yes, yes, yes!
On the private side there were plenty of touching, funny and loving notes from friends and family dear to my heart.
Today could also have been the choice to stay in bed with a hot water bottle, a good book and a cup of tea. Or maybe with my computer - to write those pending articles. That would have been a divine day as well.

It only goes to show that every day is a possibility for something wonderful if we just give it a chance. We are all responsible for our own moods and how we choose to interpret things. We can choose to make every day special in its own way. And I do believe in the magnetic power of attraction. A smile is like the sun on a grey day, today I was the sun on the grey day.

Love + Gratitude

2008-11-22T15:51:00.001+01:00

I think these are the two most powerful words that exist. They invoke the best of humanity.
"I love you"
"Thank you"
How often do we say this to others? Often enough? Think how it feels when this is said to you; the feeling of warmth, peace and joy that spreads throughout your system.
How often do we say this to ourselves? Often enough? Ever? How can we believe in love and gratitude if we do not feel it towards ourselves? How can our systems function properly without this basic awareness of self?

Introducing Mr Masaru Emoto. He has done studies with water that boggles the mind. Keep in mind how much water we are made up of. The picture of the crystal above is water labelled Love + Gratitude. See how beautiful it is. Check out his website for some of the amazing work he does:
http://www.masaru-emoto.net/

Cocktails

2008-11-21T19:35:00.006+01:00

I love cocktails. The word makes me think of beautiful gowns, perfume, finger-foods, decadence and fun. I once knew a cocktail-creator who made me cocktails in all the colors of the rainbow, each more delicious than the last...and they all went to my head.
A cocktailparty is an easygoing way to meet people, mingle and connect without too much pressure. Everybody moves around, chats, kisses in dark corners and enjoys secret fun. It is a timeless element of extravaganza that I do not want to do without. It is by far my favourite form of partying. Cocktailparties are also about gorgeous dresses, high heels, outrageous hairdoes and make-up.
There is this one holy part of life that is called enjoyment, don't ever forget that!

Liking people

2008-11-20T10:13:00.002+01:00

I like people, I am genuinly interested in who they are, what they do and why. It doesn't necessarily mean that I get emotionally involved, I just enjoy them and their stories.
Every person has a story, with some kind of oddness to it. No matter how they look, seem or talk. Everybody has a story. If you are patient and willing, you will learn their stories and this is a gift. Sometimes it may teach you a lot about yourself. And when you are ready to listen to others, they are ready to like you. It is so simple...it is all about warmth. I believe the "new" way is through communication and cooperation. I connect with people on a deep level, I value their stories, ideas and advice. In return I get valuable advice, ideas and some very nice hugs.....I like people!

Dress codes

2008-11-20T00:46:00.008+01:00

I live in Luxembourg, corporate Luxembourg. Everybody wears a suit - man and woman alike - except me...for very good reasons; 1) my shoulders are too wide to fit in a female jacket. A male jacket will fit nicely except for 2) my breasts are too big. So I don't wear suits. If I could, I probably would, just to fit in. As it is, I tend to swing the other way. I love clothes, I love outrageous and, as every girl, I do enjoy a dress-up. Don't need much of an occasion for that!

Yesterday was American Chamber of Commerce Thanksgiving Dinner. I was there, dressed in my pretty black cocktail dress and outrageously high silver heels. With pink eye-make-up, pink orchideae in my hair and pink schal...I was so there.
I was the only one....so.....there.....everybody came from work. Now this is a potentially VERY embarassing situation. I felt slightly uncomfortable until I realized that there was not much I could do about it, so I enjoyed my evening, made new friends, exchanged business-cards and was hugged by the ambassador (who probably loved my shoes...). During the dinner I actually told my fellow table-mates of how to raise pigs!!! (as opposed to turkey...national differences)

Tonight was a presentation about media in Luxembourg. I had a lovely time. The speaker is an acquaintance of mine whom I always liked. (Tonight he became my friend) After the talk some of us hung out in the bar till the wee hours, discussing whatever happened to come along. I met new people who told me their interesting stories. I was told by one young woman that I always look like a moviestar (she loves my outfits) and another woman told me I am interesting for my style and accomplished listening.

I felt honoured and humble and great! I have stopped playing games. I wear my style no matter if it fits or not. I am personal, my whole make-up - including what I do for business - is personal. And no matter what one might think of my slightly unconventional style...people remember me and that is valuable when networking.

Learning

2008-11-19T17:23:00.004+01:00

I have as a motto to learn at least one new thing per day. It may be something very trivial or life-changingly important. Todays new thing, so far, is important but boring; how to know my "caisse maladie" and what / when to pay into it. I sent them a letter...and a fax - just to be on the safe side. I stuck a piece of paper with all their details on my wall next to the desk. For now, until I know it by heart:-)
Living in a new country with new languages offers many odd situations. Since everything is new, the systems are different and the language barely understood it is like stepping back to early youth. Like the first years of leaving home; how do I pay a bill? Where is my bank? What does that mean? And why? So I can spend many days here being proud of all the "new" things I have learned, even though it is the second time around in my life - so far.

Miracles

2008-11-14T17:18:00.004+01:00

Religious mumbo jumbo? Walking on water? Walking on fire? I know people who walk on fire. I even know a little boy who easily walked back and forth on fire, dancing on it. Or rather, glowing coals - a 5 meter long and 1,5m wide bed of glowing coals. He was 8 years old at the time. Jesus? No, just a boy - the son of a very dear friend. He saw the coal-walking and said with such surity: "I want to do that". His mother, who is a very understanding woman, said "of course, my darling." Contrary to the adults doing the fire-walking, the boy didn't need any preparation at all. He took of his shoes, rolled up his trouserlegs and with a look of fierce concentration he walked upon the bed of glowing coals. Halfway over a wide smile spread over his face. After that he walked again and again. Miracle?

Everything is possible and limitless. Children live in limitlessness, therefore they can do things which most adults would never believe possible. In many cultures children have a semi-god-like status because of this.
All adults had this limitlessness, we were all children. What happened?

I believe in miracles, and they happen to me all the time. From the tiniest, most insignificant thing to huge obvious matters. I notice them all, and I give thanks for them all.
Recently I had a miracle happen to me:
My washingmachine broke down and I found a new one on an ad. I went to get it and brought it home. Once it was plugged in, I started a wash. The machine made the most horrific noise and burned, very stinkingly. I was devastated. All this work and the money I could ill afford. I called the people who very kindly said they would of course give me back my money. Next day I found a brand new machine for slightly more money. I bought it, brought it home and installed it.
Now I had 2 ugly machines which I didn't know what to do with sitting outside the house. I could not afford to have them taken away, and I didn't know where to take them myself, nor when. Besides which they were blocking my door and the next morning at 10 am I had a very important client coming to see me, and the machines didn't add to the good impression I wanted to make.
The next morning at nine o'clock my doorbell rang. Outside stood an old man with his assistant and a truck on the road. He asked me very kindly if they could have my 2 useless washin-machines, please. (These men were of course angels of miracle - unbeknownst to them.)

Now interestingly enough. When I tell this story most people say "Oh, what bad luck". Only a few see the real story and say "Wow, you are so lucky!"

success stories

2008-11-12T12:22:00.006+01:00

All success stories seem so easy, as if a fairy godmother had waved her wand and "voilà" it is done. This is not the case, on the contrary, it is about conquering fear.

Each success story begins with an impulse - sometimes a very small one, hardly even a movement of the air, but it triggers something inside. Most often it isn't even noticed unless the time is right. When acted upon, this tiny impulse grows into life. It's breathtaking; everything seems to fall in place, all the right signals are there. And it is easy, it is always initially easy. Things, people and moments just magically appear at the time when they are the most needed. Sometimes even before you know the need. So it's a little bit like "paint-by-numbers"...up to a point.
That's when it gets difficult or painful or scary. This is where many people abandon the project because the "flow" is gone. The people who stay through this intensely difficult stage are the winners. They are the ones with the success-stories. To grow is to conquer fear. Who ever said it would be easy? The bigger load you are carrying from programming and, for you, wrong beliefs, the more conquering to be done, it is a learning experience. If you are not prepared to push also when there is no hope in sight, you do not believe. And when you do not believe, you can not achieve.

Introduction

2008-11-11T22:32:00.003+01:00

Life is full of boundaries. We are taught from the very beginning what is not possible. Little by little we are stifled, pushed into a box. Fear arises as we become victims of our lives. Through life we nourish secret dreams. "Day-dreaming is a sin". Everything that might rock the boat, sorry, the box, must go. And thus programmed we live in our shattered lives with broken dreams and empty hearts.

AD2000 is about breaking boundaries.
AD is me, Anna Dannfelt, AD is also Anno Domini.
2000 is the time when female energy comes into its right and makes itself useful.
It is also the year when I finally stepped out of the box and decided to go for it. I would meet every one of my fears face on and conquer them. I did, and do and keep on doing. Along the way I am learning many wisdoms and lessons. This blog is to share them with you, dear readers.

Little by little I will tell the story.